Hi People,
I hope you are all safe and are avoiding SARS by all means possible. It seems our government has failed us and young people must take back their mandate come 2023.
Unfortunately, the whole continent of Africa seems to be battling one social issue or the other. Anyway, let's dive into today's topic which is about infidelity in marriage.
The truth is life happens, its nearly impossible for a married couple who've been together for five or six years not to take themselves for granted.
A key problem is being sexually incompatible, it has ruined many relationships. It is not about money or being emotionally connected to another person because you can marry your friend but he/she might not be on the same level with you sexually, emotionally, mentally or financially.
You might not be very considerate as a sexual partner and if your partner is very sexually aware of himself/herself then your mutual love for each other might not be enough to hold that relationship together.
For instance, as a single parent, I have been propositioned by all types of people (male & female). I am also pretty old school and very careful about who I listen to or let into my space.
Many married folks approach me for relationships and start making excuses for their behaviour. They claim their wives are stiff, cold and forget that I was once somebody's wife.
However, I know that there's no smoke without fire. I get told that I am impatient and unfeeling because I ask the hard questions like:
What did you do to him/her?
When did this start?
When last did you give him/her an orgasm?
Thankfully, I've been able to counsel a few people to take their marriages a little more seriously as a result.
Wherever you want a relationship to end is where that relationship must start from because it determines how you treat the person.
For example, if your relationship is primarily of a sexual nature. Do not expect the same person to be your emotional or psychological pillow. Always be clear about it to avoid ambiguities and hard feelings for unrequited affections.
The reason that lesbianism is on the high-rise especially, for married women is that they get more appreciation and sexual gratification from those relationships than in their marriages. You have sexual relations with your wife, rub one breast put it in and bam you are done.
Then add the fact that she might be stressed out, hustling and trying to support her man's dreams while being unappreciated by the same person.
I don't understand why men get upset when they realise their wives have female sexual partners.
My understanding is that these orgasms or explosive and they feel better about themselves. Therefore, I believe that a couple must focus on each other's needs. It is imperative for the sustainability of that relationship.
This generation of women who are under 30 are not their mothers they are not patient and they don't have time for b******t. If you cannot keep up or sustain whatever reason that they got with you in the first place then apologies in advance.
In Nigeria, infidelity from men is condoned and forbidden for women. Ignoring the fact that both men and women have sexual needs, it also hits harder when a woman cheats. To avoid stories that touch, intending couples need to discuss everything that could possibly go wrong at the beginning of the relationship.
Draw the line on friendships with the opposite if its an issue, discuss plans for the children, money and EVERYTHING that can cause you pain.
In conclusion, please don't cheat, pray about your issues and seek proper counselling. If the itch is that bad please discuss an open relationship or polyamory.
This space is a no judgement zone, feel free to send me an email if you want to tell your story, let's help others learn from our mistakes email yikesimasinglemum@gmail.com
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