Are widowed or divorced mothers in Nigeria allowed to remarry ?

Remarriage for Women

In Nigeria, widowhood and widower-hood are not the same things. A woman has to wait a year after her spouse is dead before her mourning period can end. Her family will tell her to focus on raising her kids and not encourage remarriage.

A man has to spend eight days indoors, then let 40 days pass and he can do whatever he pleases with the opposite sex

(Culture & Tradition experts should please correct me in case this information is false).

When a man loses his wife, he's required to mourn for the approved period and get a helper. This is a woman or young girl who will cook, clean and take care of sexual needs if necessary.

In some cases, his children might feel betrayed by their father. The will dislike or frustrate their father’s new helper.

Yesterday, a man trended on twitter for saying that his mother cannot remarry after his father dies and if she does, she cannot inherit his property.

           

“She is certainly not going to retain my dad's home if she does. All my dad's legacies could be compromised as a result. It threatens the unity of the family, diversifies & divides her motherly attention. The man could by an emotional infatuation, cause her to derail” 

I don’t understand why she needs his permission to find love or companionship after his death. I find the son's assumption that she did not invest in the acquisition of any of the property ludicrous. 

When are we going to start letting boys known from childhood that their mothers’ body or assets isn't theirs to own or watch?

Some men need to have honest conversations about their internalized/often unconscious hatred for women and the happiness of women

A man can maltreat his wife, abandon his children, return after he's less confused, warm up to his children who might accept him as “the worlds best dad”.

The children will expect their mother to accept him, otherwise, she’s a villain. Forgetting that the interactions between a wife and child are different.

This is the reason why one should not raise entitled children.

As a mother or single parent, you cannot let your children have the authority of over you. They aren’t your spouse or partner; children can be very manipulative and will take advantage of any opportunity given. 

A friend of mine says if you turn tour child to your husband , he/she will turn you into animal husbandry :) 

You let your widowed or divorced brothers and uncles date then tell your 45-year-old aunt to face her children. Does she not have sexual needs?

For single ladies, do not let married folks fool you; if you are not ready, give yourself time. Like Falz says  #don'trush.

Religious people will use celibacy as a yardstick to reduce ‘sexual immorality’ but what’s the point of having sex if you can't  get an orgasm. It’s a waste of energy on the woman’s part.  

In conclusion, life is already difficult, please do not make it harder for another person (especially your mother), if you can help relieve stress, kindly be my guest.

If you missed any of the previous posts click here

This space is a no judgement zone, feel free to send me an email if you want to tell your story, let's help others learn from our mistakes email yikesimasinglemum@gmail.com. 

Follow us on Twitter, Instagram and like our Facebook page.
Don't miss any posts, Subscribe to our mailing list.

The plan at the end of the day is to render assistance where necessary. Encourage me, by dropping a comment. 
Please #Share and #Rebroadcast