Oh, the joy of having a good Mother In Law

Let me tell you about my ex-husband's mother, she was raised a Muslim but later became a Christian.  At age 55 she was the best marriage/life counsellor in our church, by the time she clocked 70 she was that elder you could run to for anything. A mother of 4 children, an astute businesswoman and all around correct person or so I thought.


One would assume that marrying her last born son would be a breeze, I learnt to share very quickly and quietly for my own peace of mind. She did ask me if I knew what I was doing before I married her son and it seemed strange at the time, much later her reason became clear.


Unfortunately for me, our houses were 20 minutes apart, he would have lunch at hers then come home for dinner 3 to 4 times in a week whilst I saw her on Sunday's and my own parents once a month or every other month. Her initial plan was that I move into her house but since I disagreed I became the outcast.

Let's go to my previous post, why was this woman calling me 5 weeks after I had returned from Canada. Her son had moved out from the house, he refused to assist financially, he had gone to cast report me to my parents and generally said all sorts of disrespectful things to my father.  Now bear in mind I had never called his mother on any occasion to report her son. I might not have been the best wife but I knew how to keep my mouth shut.


I had been called a slut, a wastrel and a destiny destroyer because I agreed to marry her son, I picked up the phone and greeted her.  Hauwa, what is going on between you and my son? He says you do not want the marriage again?  Why are you so selfish? Why have you not brought my granddaughter to see me?


I let her rant, whilst she spoke I retorted to myself (before I hear in town that I've insulted somebody's ancestors) Is your son a man, financially he cannot provide, the sex was crap (without either party being drunk or high on something), emotional support zero all he did was make demands. Of course, I don't want the marriage again, you decided you were going to church and I brought your granddaughter to your house in pains because my cesarean scars hadn't healed and I wasn't meant to drive any distance. Ma, I got to your house at 6 am you had gone to church (or Shrine in my mind #scoffs) and your son was not home as well.


I let her speak English she wanted to speak and as usual, she demanded I come to her house. Two days before I went to her house, she asked me to come and that particular morning all the cars in the house refused to start. I even tried to borrow my neighbours' car, it didn't start. I finally got a car and 10 minutes out the break failed, then it started to rain. Now imagine me with a 3-month-old, my maid on the road, it wasn't a funny experience.

Here's one thing about me, I'm a little ignorant about signs so I called a friend who asked me if I was stupid, spoke to my mother she out-rightly demanded  I go back home.  Trust Nigerian mothers, she went on about spiritual traps and all whatnots. So I went back to my house, after-all na me pay rent :)


I was told to do spiritual cleansing so I went to an MFM church for a 3-day prayer and fasting program. The pastor said there are evil eyes monitoring my destiny and a few other things I'm not comfortable sharing.


I'm feeling a little drained and having trouble processing my thoughts, so I'm going to stop here.

I hope you all read Shalom's cautionary tale. If you missed it Click Here

This space is a no judgement zone , feel free to send me an email if you want to tell you story, lets help others learn from our mistakes email yikesimasinglemum@gmail.com


The plan at the end of day is render assistance where necessary. Encourage me, by dropping a comment.  Please #Share and #Rebroadcast

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Have a great weekend and see you next Wednesday. 

Ciao

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